Way to go, Kansas.

Just saw an article on MSNBC that says that the Kansas Board of Education has approved new public school science standards. Not only that, but they've rewritten the definition of science as it applies to Kansas, so it's no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena. The most recent vote marks the third time in six years the board has rewritten standards using evolution as their central issue.

Look, I understand there are people who don't believe in evolution, or don't believe that evolution explains everything -- all the complexities of our universe, where we all came from, all that stuff. I happen to believe fully in evolution, but I also believe in a supreme Creator, who gave the flick of the wrist, as it were, to start the top of evolution spinning on the table of Life as we know it.

So, some might argue that I believe in intelligent design. I'm not sure -- maybe I do, maybe I don't. It's not really important to me, semantically. What I know I don't believe is that anything beyond evolution or otherwise established scientific theory should be taught in public school science classes. Science is the study of hypotheses and theories. Science is experiments and results and measurable proof or indications. Science is patterns, science is observable. Not only that, but science is about the quest to DISPROVE things in order to more fully understand the natural world. Supporters of intelligent design call it a "theory," which is entirely false, at least per the scientific definition. A theory is something that is observable, something that is predictive, logical, testable and has never been falsified. Intelligent design is neither predictive, observable nor testable. Therefore it is not a theory. Therefore it has no place in science class.

Amen.

Pre-Thanksgiving covenant with my ass

I was in the workout room yesterday over lunch, having just finished my 30 minutes of combination jogging (5.4 mph), fast (4.4 mph) walking and incline (8.0%) walking, and I decided to step on the scale. Fucking stupid scale. Fuck you and your numbers.

Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't you hear me? I said F-U-C-K Y-O-U! Fucking fuck.

I know, it's not the scale's fault. Whose fault is it? Mine. Why is the scale showing me those fucking numbers? A few reasons:

1. I drink too much alcohol. Not that I get drunk a lot, but I drink a glass or two of wine with dinner, or a beer. Empty calories. Empty, empty, delicious calories.
2. I keep making the occasional mistake of buying food that I know is completely devoid of nutrition. Candy corn. Cheez-Its. I then become completely unable to stop myself from eating these things. They are edible temptresses, and I shall not invite them in anymore...at least for a while.
3. I totally suck at portion control. And I'm a nurturer, which tends to manifest itself in me making these lovely LARGE meals when I'm the only one here to eat them. So I eat them.

So, what is my plan? My plan is to try to buy myself at least a little dietary and fitness "leeway" prior to the Thanksgiving holiday, which is rampant with its own delicious dangers. I have devised the following covenant with myself, and I'm going to adhere to it from now through when Josh and I arrive in Prescott for Thanksgiving. No, wait...until I get to Milwaukee the night BEFORE we go to Prescott for Thanksgiving. Josh and I will HAVE to go out for a pre-travel dinner. Anyways, here's the plan until then:

1. Only allowed to drink alcohol one day per week. And then in moderation. So, 25 beers, TOPS.
2. Will quit using the excuse of "oops, I forgot to empty the workout bag, so my towel's still wet and my sports bra is all sweaty" and work out at least five times every week. A workout will be considered to be at least 30 minutes of at least moderate exertion (e.g. walking at the hilly dog park with Dakota Sue).
3. Will think more closely about food choices and portions. If I'm going to gorge on stuff, it will be lower-calorie items, like celery, pickles, popcorn. Absolutely NO candy corn, chocolate, Cheez-Its or any other devilish C-named food.
4. Will drink at least 1 gallon of water every day. Will use water to fill my tummy before meals, so I feel full before I start eating and will be naturally inclined to eat less.

So, how am I doing so far? Well, considering I just started yesterday, not too shabby. Here's my progress so far:

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7

• Breakfast = oatmeal with low-fat soymilk, handful of raisins and 2 Tbsp peanut butter
• Workout = Jogging, fast walking, incline walking and abs. Approximately 35 minutes and 400 calories
• Lunch = roasted squash and sweet potato soup with chipotle peppers
• 2nd Workout = 1.5 miles at dog park with Dakota Sue. Estimate another 175 calories
• Dinner = small handful of almonds; saute of turnips, garlic, fennel and saute mix in 2 tsp. butter. No dessert

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8

• Breakfast = same as yesterday
• Workout = 20 minutes elliptical, 15 minutes fast (4.3 mph) walking, abs. Approximately 35 minutes and 400 calories
• Lunch = same as yesterday
• Dinner = bowl of pickles so far. Upcoming will be a tin of sardines and a bowl of popcorn. Because it just sounds good, damnit

Hey, I may not lose much weight in two weeks, but I'll feel better. In the meantime, I'm just going to keep flipping that fucking scale a very enthusiastic bird every time I pass it. Fucking fuck.