If you're going to stab yourself, at least use a sharp knife

It's one of those life lessons that you wish you didn't have to learn, but are fascinating nonetheless. Last night, I inflicted two lovely bloody wounds on myself in the course of attempting to eat an avocado. Those have always been dangerous fruit, partly because I could easily just sit there and eat one right after the other, and partly because they have that big marble of a pit that could probably put someone's eye out. But now, I've discovered a new danger, though I'm not sure to blame the avocado, the knife, or my hand-eye coordination.

Since the dawn of time, I have always removed the pits of avocadoes by gently poking the tip of a sharp knife into them, giving a small twist, and pulling the pit out. This way, you don't waste any precious green flesh by scooping, and it's fun to bang the knife against the inner lip of your trash can and hear the pit rattle down into the rubbish with a 'thunk.'

However, last night, somehow the plan backfired. I was mid-poke, when all of a sudden, I discovered that the pit was flying to the floor, the avocado half was face-down in the sink with the knife...and I had a slice in my index finger, and a hole in the web between my index and middle fingers. I had bloody stabbed myself...emphasis on the word bloody.

However, as I rinsed the wounds in cold water, examining them every so often and watching the blood well up from them at a fascinatingly quick pace, I realized that, if you're going to stab yourself, you can't beat a Wusthof knife. Those wounds were clean, man...