Sunday, October 30, 2005

Ungulates have trouble with the clutch

I went to a Halloween party last night, only for a couple hours, but it was a pretty good time. I went as a Biker Cow. Yes, I said a BIKER COW.

I have this cow costume that I purchased at the last minute from Target back in 1999, for the very first Halloween party I was invited to as a Madison resident. That, along with a vampire cape and a set of spiked jewelry (one necklet, two cufflets) created my Vampire Dominatrix Cow costume that went over like wildfire and played an important role in the events that transpired that evening that have made the last seven years the best of my life. Over the subsequent years, I've gotten much reuse out of those costume parts -- except the dominatrix jewelry, which was lost. But you'd be amazed at how versatile a cow costume and vampire cape really are.

For the latest example, last night, I took my cow costume and put a black tank top over it, then pulled the top of the cow costume alluringly off my shoulders. I then put my motorcycle chaps and boots over the bottom half of my Halloween bovine, which caused the infamous rubber udders to protrude quite shockingly from the space beneath the belt of the chaps. Topped it all off with my flame headscarf and a "talking" cow headband that made cow sounds when the nose was pressed. That didn't last long as part of the ensemble, because it was sort of obnoxious, but it was fun for a few minutes.

I think many people had a tough time with what I was, exactly. Perhaps they don't see enough bikers to be able to catch on to the dead giveaway costume pieces. Or perhaps they were just distracted by my udders. But, I did get a couple people who asked whether I'd brought my bike with me, and I just simply answered, "No, ungulates have a tough time with the clutch," and took another sip of my beer.


Blogger Mary said...

Such a distinguished and prepossessed bovine biker you are!

9:36 AM  

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