Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Narcissus in the parking lot

There is a man who works where I work who has a dark blue convertible Audi TT with brown leather interior (complete with contrasting whipstitching). He gets here early enough to park this car in the first spot in the parking lot every morning, and, more often than not, he backs into the space.

For some reason, this car really pisses me off. I haven't been able to pin down why, exactly, but I think it has something to do with how self-aware the car seems to be. Or perhaps it's the owner that's self-aware. But when I look at this car, all I see is Narcissus leaning over the pond, masturbating furiously.

Now, I remember Josh calling me onanistic when I first got Harleybird and would spend a good amount of time washing her. Perhaps that was true, but I don't think it compares. This car is so onanistic, I wouldn't be surprised if it ran on semen rather than gasoline.

The odd thing is, there's a nice British woman here who also has a TT, but it's silver and doesn't piss me off. So, am I color-biased? Am I a car bigot? Or is it that she parks at the end of the lot and pulls into the space nose first? And is it really so wrong that I make myself feel better by intentionally parking my car a little closer to his than necessary (because I get here early too), just to create some sort of surface tension and put the fear of Ding into Narcissus? Such an irrationality to deal with so early in the morning. And I'm not even PMS-ing.


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